Over-connection and possessive relationships over three generations: a case of Latrodectus mactans
Prescribing over the
In my practice, I often work with families and extended families. Interesting situations occur when three generations, the grandmother, the mother and the child, are all patients in the practice, so the family line can be observed by the therapist. Sometimes, the genetic and psychological backgrounds seem to play out a similar role over the generations and this highlights the miasmatic situation of the patients. We see how the sensation is transferred over the generations.
In the three cases discussed below, the remedy was the same for all three people. The remedy we are discussing here is Latrodectus mactans, a spider remedy known for helping with cardio-vascular problems, where the symptoms are connected at an emotional level to possessive claiming behaviors within family relationships, so the remedy also helps to solve the connection/disconnection emotional problems.
The mutual situation is one of a child being raised without the presence of a father. The parent leans emotionally on the child, which results in the child carrying the burden of the previous generation, leading to psychological and emotional disorders (1, 2).
Sacrifice and possession
It starts with neglect of the self, sacrificing oneself on the parent’s behalf. This over-connectivity, too much connection, results in needy behaviour in their relationships. Each generation shows the same possessive, clingy, claiming behavior toward the next generation, or towards their partner. A complication is that when one person tries to disconnect him- or herself from this process, the person trying to possess them tumbles into a whirlpool of frustration and despair, not knowing how to continue their life.
The first to come to the practice was the mother, followed by the grandmother and then the girl. The observations on the great-grandmother came from the grandmother.
Case one: the woman (mentioned
as mother in the diagram)
The first one to come to the practice was the daughter of the grandmother. Her first visit was when she was 27 years old, a teacher of street dancing, she as overactive and hard working, with a very slim figure.
She had had many relationships, in which she often got lost. Most of her previous relationships went the same way as the present one. Her present relationship is with a younger man. They quarrel a lot; she attacks him on things like being too late, spending too little time with her, not paying attention to her. Sometimes, the quarreling gets quite heavy, fights bordering on physical abuse.
In the interview, she implies she has a feeling that she cannot go on living if they split up. She is prepared to sacrifice everything for this man. When her boyfriend is not around, she feels utterly abandoned, she feels desperate. She feels trapped in the sense that she sees no further reason for living without this boyfriend.
Previously, she had an intense sexual relationship with a man, but the relationship had the same destructive possessiveness. In another relationship, she could share mundane things with her boyfriend, and it was a less violent relationship, but without any sexual passion or attraction between them.
she has had a difficult relationship with her mother. Her mother was very
manipulative with her, seemingly very loving and caring, but at the same time
drawing attention to herself. The patient says that when she was with her
mother, she felt as if she was drawn into the energy field of her mother. She
broke up the relationship with her mother because it felt like she was
suffocated by her mother’s attention.
Imprisonment to her feelings
She teaches dancing; as long as she can dance, her energy seems to be inexhaustible. She longs for a child, thinking a baby will change her life completely.
The reason she visits the practice is her wish to change her attitude towards her boyfriend, to avoid the extreme fits of anger she gets, and to get rid of the imprisonment to her feelings of abandonment when her boyfriend is not around.
Some years later, she is not with this boyfriend anymore and has a child (girl) whom she is raising without a father (the child is the result of sperm donation of a good friend).
Case two, the grandmother (about 60 years
The mother of the first patient came to the practice some time after her daughter. Her complaint focused on a stabbing pain in her heart, radiating towards her left arm, and some cardiovascular related problems presenting as high blood pressure and the beginning of diabetes type 2. She thinks the diabetes is connected to the heart problems.
When she entered the practice, I saw a very nice, quiet woman. The first thing she mentioned is that she feels that her own mother (the great grandmother in the diagram) claimed her completely during her childhood and adolescence.
Carrying the burden
Her father died when she was very young, and after he passed away, her mother burdened her with all the family problems and practicalities. So, she became confused, she lost herself and became an extension of the feelings of her mother. It felt like she had been taken over by her mother, mentally and emotionally. Thus, carrying the burden an adult person would normally carry, she constantly felt very tired. At the same time, she loved her mother very much. When her mother died, although she was already a mature person, it felt like a heavy blanket was lifted from her shoulders.
She had insomnia for years, not being able to think about anything else but her mother at night. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she had a terrible headache; her head felt like a balloon, swollen and nearly on the brink of snapping. She felt agitated, with heart palpitations.
Case three: child (3 years old)
The daughter of the dance teacher is the third member of the family to come to the practice, age 3 years old. The girl is very pretty, engaging, attention seeking, and has many friends who essentially do as she commands them. She has imagined a father, to compensate for the absence of a real father. She starts crying as soon as she loses visual contact with her mother. In a very intelligent way, she claims her mother totally. She is very intense in her way of speaking.
During the interview, she complains constantly about abdominal pains and headaches. The abdominal pains are worse in the evening, she can only calm down when she lies down on her belly and she feels the warmth of lying in this way.
Her mother is distraught. She cannot physically keep connected with the child 24 hours a day. Thus, the relationship between mother and daughter is rather stressful.
The three cases (and stories about the great grandmother) show striking similarities. All the women grew up without a father or with a father who passed away during their early childhood. They all compensate for the gap in the family situation by developing an intense possessiveness “over connection” to their parent, or vice versa, to the child in their care.
Symptoms of Latrodectus mactans relevant in these cases are:
Stitching pain in the heart region, extending to the left arm and fingersCramps in abdomenSensation of death or dying, accompanied by utter sadness and despairShrieking, shouting, cryingClaiming behavior towards love ones, manipulative behavior, stalking othersOver connection with loved onesAll feelings are very intense, both physical and emotional.
The absence or the loss of a parent can trigger or enlarge the Latrodectus mactans symptoms.
In the cases discussed here, the main theme is “over-connection”, being unable to escape the over-dependency, and a feeling of sadness and despair, which results in anger when the connection is broken – or even if it just seems to be broken.
This can result in somatic heart problems, palpitations and cramps, radiating to the left side of the body.
An interesting way of analysing the case is by bringing all the symptoms in this family together as one unity. So, we are treating over the generations, treating the miasm in the family and healing the background for deep-seated disease and emotional and psychological problems.
I was only sure of having chosen the right simillimum after I had seen all three of them.
In the case of the mother, I prescribed Latrodectus mactans C 220/5 (dilution of C220 from a trituration to the 5th level) one dose, then a second dose a month later.
After three months, her behavior stabilised, especially towards her boyfriend.
In the case of the grandmother, the remedy was Latrodectus mactans, LM2, for three weeks, a daily dose related to the high blood pressure. After three weeks, the doses were reduced to twice a week. After about half a year, the pains have disappeared and the blood pressure is under control.
In the case of the girl, I gave one dose of Latrodectus mactans C200. The abdominal pains disappeared and her clingy behaviour diminished.
Treatment of three generations with problems and disorders all related within different levels of one remedy picture, resulted in amelioration of the complaints of all three individuals and the restoration of more normal family relationships.
Latrodectus mactans, black widow spider, is a venomous species of spider. The female has an hourglass figure with distinctive black and red coloring. They are known for the fact that the female may eat the male after mating, if the male is ensnared and unable to escape.
The venom is neurotoxic. Black widow spider bites cause muscle cramping, intense abdominal pain, back pain, and hypertension.
Keywords: manipulative, stalking, over connection, possessive, sexual passion, trapped, sacrifice, palpitation, heart, abdominal pain, cramps, radiating, black widow spider
Remedies: Latrodectus mactans