Look at me: a case of Morinda citrifolia
Across from me sits a finely built man who radiates self-confidence. Two years ago, he had a hernia, and after that, he has worked a lot on himself. He has managed to change a lot and now, he is at a sort of resting place, an in-between phase. “I want to come into action but I am stuck.”
He works as a creative producer. He is very good at organising television productions and large business events. “All my life I have done what I wanted to, I have always pushed forwards. I have lived my dream. I am ambitious and full of energy. I worked very hard and I’ve achieved a lot in the world. I have done all the shows and jobs that I’ve wanted to do.”
He gives one the feeling that everything is possible for him.
“I’ve done eight events all by myself. I have a strong willpower and I know that I can manage. I am very convincing and employers believe in me as soon as we sit down at the table. Still, at the same time I have a basic lack of confidence and that is my weak point. I keep going on and can’t set my limits.
“I am very punctual and well-structured. I am also very concerned with the outside world, trying to please everyone and so, I don’t set my boundaries well. I want to do things so well, to be seen, to be recognised. I went so far that I let myself be undermined, continuing to work even though I had terrible pain because I didn’t want to be a bother. That resulted in a hernia, which showed that this way was not working for me. I had to go back to my basis and that’s where I am now.
“I have done so many wonderful things in my life but I have to learn another way of functioning. I am learning about rest and meditation, and now, something concrete can happen.
“I have loving parents. I am the creation of a very strong and well-organised, somewhat masculine mother and an upright father, who was full of fantasy. I never really felt like I was part of the family. I have compensated the feeling of not belonging by being very ‘present’: ‘Look at me!’ I could feel guilty, too, and I would do anything to prevent others from being upset by me or something I had done. I took responsibility for everything and was very aware of what the others needed. I tried to please everyone in order to avoid being punished if I was a bother. I wanted to yield and to not cause disruption.
“I feel good in myself but the opinion of others is what breaks me. I don’t manage to stay in my centre while I stand for who I am. My channels are too open to the outside world. My critical thermometer towards myself is set very high: ‘Judgement, judgement’. I allowed myself to be pushed from my place by my manager, friends, parents, my older sister, and authorities. My right to live depends on the judgement of others. I need them to see that I have done well. I know that I want to feel the fire inside myself instead of being so busy trying to convince others. I radiate something like ‘I want the world.’ All sorts of women are attracted to me but I don’t cut to the chase because I don’t know which way to turn. I am standing at the crossroads of a thousand opportunities: there is a world of possible jobs and beautiful women open for me. The whole world lies at my feet but I have lost my drive.
“My mother has brought me up with the idea that I should be the Ubermensch (Superman) – perfection, perfection. And I am that now, I have reached the top, I’m fulfilled. Everything that is possible to create, I have done. I did eight productions at once and didn’t get tired. I just got tired of the manager who wouldn’t allow me one free hour. He shouted at me and didn’t treat me with respect. It was because I let myself be undermined. I don’t set proper boundaries. I wanted to reassure him in this economic crisis by keeping all the balls in the air, working even harder and carrying his frustrations and outbursts on my own shoulders. I have done everything from a sense of spontaneity. I had never done anything for TV but I did some preparations and then, full of bravado, I phoned up a big TV enterprise; now, I have a program in fifteen countries. When I left, it took fifteen people to fill my place. So, you can see I did a lot but I only realised that when I couldn’t move anymore because of the hernia. I had to be a Superman, according to my upbringing. I never learned to be myself. I never felt hunger, thirst, none of the basic needs. I just went to the toilet once per day, not making a bother of myself.”
In Wonderful Plants, every plant has a number. The first number corresponds with the phylum.
Elements corresponding to this man are: lively, sensitive, no third person (ie not feeling attacked from the outside), several themes in his life. This fits the plant realm, phylum Angiospermae. The Angiospermae stand for the Gold series, the sixth series of the periodic system.
The second number stands for the class, which is also related to the series of the periodic system. 66 refers to the Angiospermae (6) with Lanthanide (Gold series, 6) characteristics.
Lanthanides: always going one’s own way. Reflecting. Looking further than one’s own nose. Broad thinking. Busy with big things, big inventions.
66 Asteranae: proactive, reflecting. Acting from one’s own initiative.
The third number gives the subclass, analogous to the series of the periodic system.
665 = Silver series (5) of the Lanthanides (6) of the Angiospermae (6)
Silver series: in the middle of the attention. Recognition
665 Lamiidae: on the one hand, a strong desire to present oneself and to be seen as special. On the other hand, there is a reflection about the desire to perform and to shine.
The fourth number gives the phase, which corresponds with the order. The Phase relates to the basic feeling.
6654 = phase 4 of the Lamiidae
Phase 4: sure of oneself, confident. Completely self-evident
6654 Rubiales: good self-confidence, feeling special and secure. They have the right to a good creative job. A great desire to contribute and to be recognised.
The fifth number is the subphase, corresponding to the suborders/families. The subphase is a refinement of the phase but less basic.
66542 = subphase 2 of the Rubiales
Subphase 2: passive, adapting, hardworking to gain approval
66542 Rubioideae: duality between self-certainty and shyness, between going one’s own way and adapting to others.
The sixth number gives the stage (1-17), then genera of a family. The stage has to do with how someone deals with the problem.
66542.13 = stage 13 of the Rubioideae. Stage 13: having reached the top, now stuck, postponing.
Prescription: 66542.13 = Morinda citrifolia, given in MK
Follow-up after 4 weeks
“The first day after taking the remedy, it was as though I had taken drugs. Everything appeared colourful. All sorts of animals came to me, butterflies on my arm, everyone said hello. The second day, I just hung around nice and relaxed in my hammock. After that, the Universe just gives me the right energy. I am very busy. I’ve got all sorts of ideas but I’m not going into concrete action.”
Prescription: repeat Morinda citrifolia MK
Follow-up after 10 and 16 weeks
“My energy is back. I am not blocking myself. I see possibilities instead of impossibilities. If I compare myself to a rose: I was a big, convincing blossom, I was giving all the time but I didn’t have enough sturdiness. You could see the hernia as the stem that has broken. In the top, I had done everything, and now, I am feeding my roots by developing an independent feeling of self-worth. I make my rose, my outside part, smaller, and I allow more energy to stream to my roots, my ‘being’. My blossom was always big: ‘Look at my exterior.’ I used to be so touched, so wounded in my right of existence that I made my blossom bigger and bigger. ‘Look at me in the limelight!’ Meanwhile, I was giving myself away. These days, I shine with conviction in myself. The energy stays with me.
“As a seven year old, I was always busy with connections. For instance, I created a wake-up system with marbles for the whole street. I pulled on a cord and then it tinkled at all the houses and all the kids came to our garden. Then, I opened the gate and we played tag. If you jumped over the see-saw, you were in another world and could not be tagged.
“I could puzzle for hours. Now, I can be busy for hours with process management, all sorts of components that fit into each other, 50 pages spread over the floor; the more complex, the more challenging. At school, I puzzled with chemical formulas. I had a 10 (top score) for my end exam. I am always making new inventions. I can’t talk enough about it. My key words are communication, international, something that everyone will use. My idea is to inspire people via dialogue and to reach them in their feeling. Inspiration connects people. It develops each other’s authentic ‘being’ (roots) and gives room for a more beautiful society with respect, connection and depth. It is so complex that it cannot just be taken over whole piece. Now, I can keep this for myself instead of thinking ‘Look at me.’ Now, it is my thing, my puzzle and I will only show it when it is ready. Then, I will realise it. I used to be ashamed that I had such great thoughts. Now, I think ‘throw the container open and think even bigger.’
“I compare myself to a horse. I protect the herd instead of my own ego. I am a fighter; I will do anything for the other; previously I fought for the interests of the other (boss, parents, relationship) without protecting myself. I always felt like the underdog and I didn’t recognise attention. That undermined the charge of energy in me. I was so ashamed of my rich fantasy that I had to hide it. I have worked on the base and now, I can connect with the outside because I am proud of who I am. I am happy that I can contribute, that I am not a hindrance but a stimulus. I give from zeal and conviction (roots) instead of giving myself away (blossom).
“I had already worked hard on myself these past two years but this remedy has given me peace and confidence. I don’t have to fight and battle just to be here. I don’t feel like a hindrance. I don’t have to convince anyone. I am fine the way I am. I can now create space from my own being, in order to connect. This is really the base of my invention, the communication platform.
“It used to be: ‘Look at me’, fighting for my right to exist. Now, I have found my ‘being’. My goal is now to be open and in connection with my being.”
Keywords: confidence, ambition, lumbar hernia, creativity, will-power, Superman, self-critical
Remedies: Morinda citrifolia