Case Hydrocyanicum acidum 4
Fourth case of Hydrocyanicum acidum
Case 4 is again a woman, born in 1953. On entering my waiting room to greet her for the first time I got a sinking feeling: “Oh no, another concentration camp case!” There was something deeply sad in her eyes that I had seen in all the other women. But I put this down to my imagination playing tricks with me; I thought that I must have become too involved with the other cases and now started to see Holocaust victims everywhere.
She had come because of problems with ther eyes - severe photophobia. “Light is a torture to me. I have to wear dark glasses all the time, even on rainy days. My eyes are very sensitive. They get red and pussy and feel as though they are inflamed. I can’t wear make-up around my eyes. Smoke makes them worse, then they start to burn. I have a lot of allergies, especially to chemicals. I would love to go to the art academy, but I can’t bear the turpentine and paint fumes. I am allergic to the sun, especially in the spring; my skin gets very irritated. I am not allergic to any foods. Besides my allergies I come because of my mental condition. I have periods of severe depression and have been using Lithium for years now because of a suicide attempt. I used to have social phobias; I didn’t dare to go out, to be with other people or to go into shops. If people don’t greet me it feels as though I am being shunned, like an outcast. When I am not feeling well I go into my shell. But sometimes I am manic; I become over-active. I get paranormal thoughts, hallucinations; I see people who aren’t there. For instance I just know that a certain car will enter the street, and it does, and it makes me anxious. I am afraid to be alone when I have these paranormal feelings - all sorts of things can happen that you can’t control. I feel the pain of everyone around me, all the negative feelings. When we had children I was afraid to bring them into a world with so much suffering. I get too much information coming in. I don’t have clairvoyant dreams, but I get visions, psychosis. I see blood running down the walls. In psychosis I see myself as a little Jewish boy, 5 years old. I was gassed in a concentration camp in Poland; I even know the name, Majdenek. As a little girl I used to make drawings of long line-ups of naked people standing outside a big building. Another building has smoke coming out of the chimney. Beside the big building I drew a Jewish graveyard. No one would believe me that I had “been” there, but I knew it. When I finally found a map with all the names of the concentration camps on it I showed it to them: there was the name I had always “known”. I dragged my husband all the way to Poland just to go to this place.”
I gave her Hydrocyanic Acid, finally understanding the feeling that had overtaken me in the waiting-room. Three weeks later I received a card from her, with happy children playing in a garden. She wrote “The medicine has worked. I still have some itch in the corner of my eye from time to time, but I don’t need to wear sunglasses anymore. I am still sensitive to stress, and to turpentine fumes, but now I can paint without my eyes protesting. I am painting a lot of flowers at the moment. What a lot of energy it gives to be able to release the pain of a lifetime!”
Four months later: “My eyes are perfect, no more puss, no more light-sensitivity. My eyes used to be stuck together in the mornings, but not anymore. My sensitivity to chemicals is much less; I am thinking of going to art school after all. The depression is still there from time to time; I still have to use antidepressants sometimes.”
Some time later, In New Zealand, I received a letter from her, complete with pictures from her first exhibition. She was following a course in intuitive healing, and was feeling much happier and stronger. The eye complaints were over, as was the depression.
Keywords: Hydrocyanicum acidum, photophobia, allergy