Female born 1950
Came to me in May 2003.
Her complaints were, for many years, "Arthritis through my whole body, from neck to all the joints in my arms and legs."
Her back is and looks very straight.
"I was a heavy alcoholic (like my father) till 1992 and then suddenly stopped drinking, a year later I stopped smoking. I have been very self-destructive. Since then I have been a member of AA and have lived a healthy life. My health is still improving, the result of the medical examinations is good. Swimming could be therapeutic, but I do not like to swim in a pool with other people, it feels filthy to me. I would prefer yoga or meditation. I am on my feet all day for my job"
. She runs the restaurant for the board of directors in a big hospital where she is very much appreciated.
-Observation; She is a good looking sophisticated lady, short curly dark hair and bright blue eyes, tastefully dressed, slender and quite tall. She has a sharp inquisitive look and although she talks openly there is a kind of distance in her attitude.
"I have 3 younger brothers. I was born with rachitis and my mother trained me a lot to get my legs straight. I have very few memories from my childhood. I started drinking when I was 15, it is a family trait. We had a dysfunctional, sensitive, neurotic family.
As a child I had a strong fear that I would disappear, that I would be totally alone and not be able to take care of myself. My grandmother was insane during her climacteric period, she walked naked through the streets. In my climacterium I could be aggressive, once in a bar I attacked a woman who reported me to the police, at that time I had reached the bottom of the pit and was lost. Then I joined the AA program.
I am a passionate person, not stupid and I got to know a lot about myself during this program.
I had to become very humble during that period. Now I am helping people in AA. The group voted for me again as president this year.
I was always very dependent, I could not work because of the drinking and during my 7 year marriage it all deteriorated. My husband claimed me totally and I started to reject him, also sexually and then I escaped to the city. I was manipulative to get my drinks.
As a child I was very ambitious and wanted to be the best, sweetest, most beautiful girl. I had fantasies about myself being super-interesting . I would do anything to get a compliment. If a man liked me I was ready to surrender, from about the age of 15.
I was pregnant at 19, the baby was stillborn (6-7 months) and I was not allowed to see it. Many years later I mourned about it. I had many men, always the wrong ones, all alcoholics.
I was a rebel in my youth, my mum was too strict for me and after my miscarriage I wanted to get out. I felt contempt for the bourgeois surroundings that I came from, this absurd family life. My mother still behaves theatrically. When I visit her I have to be very careful because we can have fights very easily. I am the confrontational type and she does not accept criticism. I can curse and scold, I do have a shameless side. I can love and hate passionately. I have always loved God, I expected Him to take care." Almighty, Help me!", and He did.. As a child I felt a great empathy for Jesus, it was a big grief in my heart.
At night my heart really can burn, if I pray it softens. I do have a thing about the Eucharist and there was a time that I wanted to enter a cloister. I have always been interested in spirituality.
I am an independent woman, no feminist, I have been celibate for 10 years.
I went through horrible things in a masochist way, I took a lot...
I am ascetic and strict, filled with love and happy since I stopped drinking. Before it was terrible. I stopped eating, had no trust or self-criticism and I was very careless of the feelings of other people. I had to learn what feelings are.
This last year I feel physically as if my heart is burning in my chest with trembling around it.
I have nightmares of murder and slaughter, deep seas and monsters and I can wake up crying, it is heartrending. For work I apply for jobs where they ask for excellent workers.
I am into mysticism and I try to be realistic. I can tip the scales, they said at home, so that it isn't workable anymore.
'Out of reality' maybe I could sanctify myself, I have to be humble.
I thank God that I am here like this.
In the morning I feel stiff and I have a kind of muscle pain with a feeling of worms under my skin. After movement it gets better.
I am not a 'drugs person'. Once or twice I used cocaine, speed a few times and once an LSD trip, a long time ago.
I do not digest chocolate, sweets, cream or fat very well. I drink a lot of water.
I have some thick mucous in the frontal sinuses.
I very much want to learn everything and to be a wise spiritual woman."
Because of the alcoholism, haughtiness, shamelessness, religiousness, rheumatic pains,
I gave her Veratrum alb. 200K
Follow Up after 4 weeks:
She felt a strong reaction after taking the remedy, which she appreciated but..
" I feel very tired and nauseous, I do eat though, and as far as the arthritic pains go there are bad and better periods.
My bag has been stolen with my money." (she has a small income and no possibility of working more because of her health) "I try not to get emotional about it, if I lose control I might start drinking again. I get aggressive and unreasonable if I drink, like Jekyll and Hyde.
I was just like a dog, an unworthy human being, while what I wanted was a great life. Because of the alcohol I liked rough sex, but not any more.
If I feel desire I masturbate, it releases aggression, to men especially".
She is irritated that this subject comes up..
"I do blossom in my work!.."
Sleeps badly, wakes up frequently. The burning heart is still there but not painful.
She does not remember her dreams, it is "like a black swirling mass of water, wild and dark, oppressive, like the making of something. I am able to fly in my dreams, I prefer it at the height of people, to oversee everything and keep in touch at the same time."
I gave her Platina MK
Follow Up 9 weeks after the 1st consultation:
"I feel worse at night or resting. Numbness in fingers and lips and arthritic pains, a drawing pain in my body and restlessness. I feel cramped on waking, I have problems getting started, better being busy.
I suffer from headaches on the top of the head like a tight helmet, it feels good to wear a cap with peak.
I do not believe in a life without suffering.
I am softer and more sensitive, I am 'de-hardening'. I was in tears at the sight of a homeless man eating a meal... My brother is ill, I would like to be able to help him... I do recognize his strong arrogance and the self destruction! Insanity is well known in the family. "
Nausea 80 % better, Less mucous, no more headaches, the burning heart is softer , more a prickling feeling now. Dreams not suffocating anymore, it is 'more like the lifting of a veil..'
The rage toward men is softening.
Follow Up 14 weeks after the 1st.
"I feel good emotionally and at peace,
but my knees and elbows feel as if they are powerless, I do drop things from my hands, it comes from the neck. I have restless legs and tearing tingling fingers, which wake me up frequently. My energy is just enough for my 4 day job and I have to rest on my free days."
Some 6 Follow Up's more
No amelioration in the arthritic situation, in fact there is an extension even to the claviculae and the pains are wandering. Worse when damp and cold. She claims to feel fine emotionally.
Her self-worth is getting stronger, feels that she does not get paid enough and is starting to stick up for herself. She feels humiliated by some of her colleagues. " I can be a fury, like a volcano, but I still have a fear of being turned down." "I hate dominating behavior, it suffocates me and I get an impulse to strike out. My natural disposition is to drink. I do not feel natural since I’ve been sober.
I am aware of the fear of 'the empty hole.' Because of the alcohol I was not really there, like under a glass bell, it was like the 'garden of lust' from Heronymous Bosch.
I am afraid of the dark and my mother made me suspicious, of men, of sex etcetera. I am quite capricious, like a stinging nettle, I do not want to be touched just like that. I was eager to experience life. I was looking for passion in the relationship, but I lost myself too fast."
She drinks a lot of water, juices, eats fruits, gherkins etc.
Cannot walk with bare feet, her soles are too sensitive.
She has chronic money problems but had to buy special arthritis-shoes. She feels even more handicapped by pains in the shin bones and the rheumatologist gave her medication which caused stomach pains, nausea and bad breath through digestive-problems. She stopped taking them.
"I have enough!! I develop more complaints all the time. I feel a need to retire from the world.
I am trying to find out who I am in essence."
I gave her in this period;
Caust. 200K- Gadolin.oxyd.MK -Gratiola MK-Amm.sulph.200K-Uran.met.MK- Med.MK and the last time Syphill.MK in 04/04
Follow up 07/04
She called for a new appointment, so in preparation, I re-studied the case as I was determined to do anything to find 'her right remedy'...
I put into Reference works; alcoholism (rem)arthritis(rem)wandering pains
Many remedies came up but primarily Agave tequilana and I decided that this could be the solution.
(Agave / Agavaceae /Asparagales /Liliflorae /Monocotyledonae (Wichmann).)
Knowing the Agave was close to the Liliales like Veratrum (her first remedy) gave me a feeling of excitement....I studied the info in the books (R.W.) and I was convinced I had found it.!!
Sadness and pessimism. Desire for the unattainable. Unsatisfied, unrealistic desires. Alcoholism with mental troubles. Voluble state, excitable. Jokes, asks questions, is humorous. State of nervous irritation, stammers, shouts, becomes violent, even aggressive. Temporary amnesia following the excited state. Dazed state. Hypo mania, a state of exaltation, exaggerated over activity followed often by a period of depression.
Restlessness and activity. High goals , purity. Polarity purity and sexuality, shamelessness. Spiritual, religious. Problems with partner or relationships. Cheating, betrayal. Reaching out to mankind. Balance between cosmos and down to earth. Duty, service . Post traumatic stress. Sexual abuse.. PMS. Disintegration. Heart region, problems in pelvic region. Problems of the acra ,stomach. Fainting and weakness.
Her arthritis was still disabling her, she has problems with digestion, the food does not go down.
She is facing experiences from her 'former life' in order to let go of them.
"I long for contact with 'new' people around me yet in fact I prefer to be alone, it is both."
So I gave her Agave Tequilana MK, which I had already ordered in the meantime.
Follow Up 6 weeks after this remedy
She is exalted. Immediately after using the remedy her joint- and muscle-pains vanished.
"My body feels calm, my concentration is much better and I have much more energy. As soon as it goes down I take some drops again."
Her stomach and digestion are much better. (2 weeks ago she came for repetition of the remedy, so I knew that this remedy was a success, and she accepted a bottle with a solution based on alcohol/water which I could barely propose before...).
"I am more straightforward in a relaxed way, less dependent on the opinion of others".
About the AA: " I am very grateful to them and I will give them my support but not at the expense of my own evolution anymore. Now I think, what do I really want myself??”
The next 6 months I saw her twice and she was feeling very well.
It is some years after the last visit and I know that she still goes strong.
Keywords: stiffness, muscle pain, joint, rheuma, arthritis, alcoholism, restlessness, dazed state, disintegration
This article was originally published in www.interhomeopathy.org